A wife's feelings 4

I suspected my husband read this. Or anyone who close with him. But, what the heck. The thing is, I'm being honest. That's all. 10 year long marriage, a lot happens. The only thing is, I won't betray this marriage. That's why I opted for a divorce if the situation calls for it. At least I left with some dignity. Adultery is shameful. I've seen it happens and I must make sure I doesn't do it. We had a long discussion this week. About us. About divorce. About how I feel. I feel guilty separating him from his family. I dislike his brother for looking down on him. Don't mistake me, his brother is kind and cares about my husband. But considering that he always thought that my husband remains static in his life journey irritates me. Why can't people see that my husband and I actually just a normal husband and wife regardless of our job? And now I really dislike those young women who coveted him. Sakit hati

A wife's feelings part 3

To be honest, I guess a separation is inevitable. I feel a mixture of feelings. I can't determine which one is the strongest feelings yet one thing I know,that my feelings towards you starts fading. I don't feel the excitement and the adoration towards you anymore. What I feel is just blank. To the point that, I can't get angry anymore. And maybe I just don't want to care anymore. Improving and repairing a relationship is tiring. And I do feel that faking this whole relationship feels much more easier than really experiencing it. I used to love you so much to the point of I can't think of not living without you. Yet  now, I just feel that I'm a burden to you that you had to bear. Just be patient ok. I'll let you go when the time comes.

Stupid Little Me

Wellllll....
I really have to give it to her. So be it. 😏 I don't want to care because caring hurts so much. It's okay. Ehhh sikkan sik rasa something suspicious kan. Suddenly ngkah minyak wangi ya dalam bilik, then sleepy. I'm not indicating ada ilmu halus or what eventho kita sikpat deny perkara ya but then, niat ya Sik mustahil ada. Sik apa, kmk just give up jak dalam relationship tok. Cukup umur anak2, they'll be with me ok. I won't burden you. ☺️

Why I'm silent today

I guess, today will mark the day that I'll cease talking to you. Because lately, I've noticed that, you're angry whenever I talked to you. Regardless of anything. It will ended up as a quarrel. So I guess it's best if I just stop talking and only speak when necessary. It is sad you know, not being able to share things with you or just talk carelessly about anything. You know, I'm a chatty and cheerful person. But the moment I'm silent, I'll become a somber and cold person. That's just who I am.
At work, I just live the way I wanna live. At home, I want to be your best. But then, undeniably, I lost to your handphone and it hurts when I talk to you, you ended up being angry. So I guess, it's best for me to be silent. I'll just share my thoughts here, and assume I'm talking to you. Just like the old times. I might be strong and strict at work, yet I just need you to love me at home. But if all these only resulted in relentless quarrel, thus it best for me to just keep it all inside me.
Thanx for once being the person I love.

A wife's feelings part 2

I know all the stupid questions I asked annoys you. But your patience in trying to answer all the questions captivates me. But then, what seems trivial to you, as a man, is actually important to me. Because, my love, women are insecure creatures. Yeap. No matter how perfect we are. That's why women prone to depression. Telling me, that you love isn't enough. Because I want to know what makes me different from other women that you decided to live with me and hopefully stays true and loyal to me. Many reasons as to why women feels insecure and mostly I have to say owing to the cultures which almost in majority provides kinda negative environment for women to grow up with. Women, sadly, don't have the privilege to be as who we are. A woman is considered incapable if she doesn't master cooking even though she's an equal to male subordinate in workplace. And a woman is being told since young that, if she fails to maintain her beauty, manage the household and raise good kids, then she's a total failure. That's the challenges of being a woman. Women also constantly being informed that husbands can always have a choice to leave them for other younger women. This caused another stress need to be handled by women. Thus it's not easy being a woman, a daughter, a wife and especially a mother. It requires sacrifices. Hence faith in Allah is needed.
I don't ask much from you. Never material items and of course never something that you can't gift. Because all I wanted just you, cherishing me as your wife. And I hope that we'll be blessed by Allah for a peaceful and loving marriage. I just wanna grow old with you. I love you...

A wife's feeling... Part 1

Most people misunderstands the feelings of a wife. And it's inevitable in today's double income family. Actually, a wife's feelings and needs are simple. A wife will always need their husbands, come what may. The truth is, it doesn't matter if there are huge differences between the couples' career. Because the most important thing is the willingness to be together and to bask in love with each other.
I'm an official in my workplace. And being a high ranking officer, I possess stubbornness, shrewdness and assertiveness. Yet when I come home everyday, I'm happy, grateful and feel blessed for the little family I have. I'm happy to see my husband and hug him after a long day. And I missed my kids everyday that I can't wait to meet them every evening I come home.
My point is, no matter how a wife performs at workplace, in the end of the day, she's a wife who dotes on her husband and wants her husband to dotes on her. It's actually a simple thing that most of us overlooked.
Love isn't material. Love is what we feel about each other, and how we couldn't bear to harm each other. And love is about cherishing what we feel about each other.
I love you hubby. For accepting me as who I am. Thanx a million!!

Love is....

Love is... When you worried that I might be hungry due to me stubbornly going on a diet and you left me a piece of my favorite fried chicken for me just in case I starved myself... (and I ate the chicken.. Hahaha)
Love is... When I saw a piece of money in my wallet this morning when all the while I'm worried on how to tell you that I've spent all my money and I need some more for my lunches.
Love is... When you silently hug me at nights while I'm sleeping as you detected how tired I am and kissed me.
I love you hubby and thank you sayang...